all about me

So here's my update.

I've had a frustrating 3+ weeks losing and gaining the same three lbs, bouncing between 207-210.

I could be all strengths-perspective about it and say yay, I've maintained good weight loss.  But I admit, it's frustrating.

I am doing the right things... eating healthy, 1200-1400 calories a day.  I am active- 10,000 steps (about 5 miles) a day.  I ran my first 5k last weekend (45 minutes.. not fast, but I did it, jogged most of the way.)

I haven't been to the gym much and need to get back to it.  I am not eating enough vegetables.  I am still low-carby but more like under 100g than under 20g, so not in ketosis. But that's ok. I am eating food that fills me, mostly not processed, no high sugar.

I haven't thrown everything out the window like I've done in the past. I am not soothing myself with cake and ice cream.  I am still in the game, but I am frustrated.

I was feeling sulky and was wondering if maybe I was depressed.  I have family and personal history of depression.  But I think it's actually the opposite is true... I am feeling healthier and more active, and craving more activity and interaction and am frustrated about my struggle in finding community. Although work is generally good and I like where I am, I don't have anyone to adventure with and am feeling bummed out about it.  And maybe I am not trying hard enough or feeling too old and specific about what kind of company I want.  But I had friends and community in my old towns and it's not happening for me here and I don't know what that means for me.

I will try to up my activity a bit and get back to veggies and keep doing what I am doing and keep thinking about how I want to spend my time.

This post has a lot of "I's".

/selfabsorbedreflection